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THE DRAGON & THE SPOON

Juno Pell: The Badge, the Oath and the Exhausted Dragon

Juno Pell

The story so far

For two hundred years the village and the dragon had an arrangement, and it suited everybody. Every midsummer the people climbed the hill to the banquet hall and fed Ashfang a feast, with him at the head of the table, first cut of everything, toasted with the good cutlery. It was cheaper than being eaten and, most years, a lovely evening. In return he left the fields alone and saw off wolves when asked nicely.

Then the roof fell in, forty winters ago, and nobody fixed it. The village argued about who should pay, then got tired of arguing, then quietly stopped climbing the hill altogether. The hall filled with rain and nettles. Ashfang waited. A year, then ten, then a few more, with the patience of something that counts in centuries and the grievance of something that has counted every missed dinner. This spring he sent word, singed into the miller’s door: forty feasts owed, due at dusk on midsummer, payable in the only coin a village has, which is fire.

The village did try. It sent a goat, which he ate and declared no substitute for a feast. It sent a petition, which came back with the spelling corrected. It sent the mayor’s nephew, who is fine, and came back down the hill very fast. All that is left of the old feast service is a single steel spoon, dug out of the rubble under the fallen roof, and they have sent it up the hill with you, because a spoon is what they have and you are who they have.

Ashfang knows all of this. He has been in the hall since noon, coiled where the head of the table used to be, and it has started to rain on him.

1 / 7

I ask who is responsible for fire in this village. He says he is. I say good, because that is the post I am here to fill.

Ashfang regards you with an impressive display of eyelid economy. "Well, then we're over-staffed. The council gave me the fire portfolio for another—" he glances at a battered brass hourglass by the collapsed dais "—fifty-four minutes. Local handover policy. Come dusk, I vacate the post with extreme prejudice. Congratulations: you can collect a pile of ashes." The rain picks up. Somewhere beyond the broken doors, a dull flare rises over the village square.

2 / 7

I explain the office of fire warden. Paid in tribute, sworn to prevent fires, answerable to nobody but himself.

Ashfang’s tail stirs amidst the rubble, nudging aside a rotten candelabrum. “Ah. You think a title stops fire the way a thatched roof stops rain?” He snorts, sending a sooty gust past your ankles. “The day the village pays tribute is the day they learn to spell my name. I have seen what passes for dedication here. Fire warden. Impressive. Can you swear to me,” his head lowers to eye level, “that you will never let a flame touch that tavern again?” A trickle of embers rolls down a hearthstone. He’s listening, but no ground is ceded.

3 / 7

I ask what a warden of his standing would be owed. He names a figure. I do not flinch, which unsettles him.

Ashfang’s pupils narrow. From somewhere inside his brow, an accountant stirs. He names a sum notable for its specificity: six hundred and twenty-four assorted pieces, sorted by weight, with receipts signed and witnessed by a notary who owes him forty-seven favours. “And a commemorative plaque,” he adds, “bearing the true story. Not the one with the donkey.” He waits for an outburst, but your deadpan silence flows in like fog. He shifts his weight, the tiles creak, and his reply is unusually faint: “Ah. Well. I suppose a warden ought to be above vulgarity.” Outside, the windows reflect a second flicker from the square.

4 / 7

I hold out my spoon as the badge of office, the only metal I own, and ask him to take it or refuse the post.

Ashfang bends forward, nostrils hovering above your upturned spoon. The rain beads on its plain steel bowl; it catches the dim firelight, but refuses to gleam. “That’s it? Your lone asset, pledged for their ashes.” He does not touch it. Instead, he blows, gently, as if to test its resolve. Condensation—sulphurous, irritated—mists the metal, which trembles but holds steady in your grip. He regards you a moment longer, then pushes the spoon delicately back with a claw. “The badge matters less than what you’re prepared to do with it. Polish it up. I’ll inspect your warding rites.” Down in the lanes, flames nip at the first thatched roof.

5 / 7

I scratch the oath into the flagstone: the warden prevents fire in this village, from tonight until he resigns.

Ashfang leans in, watching each laboured scrape as you inscribe the words with your spoon: crude, uneven, but unmistakable in the stone. Smoke wafts under the doors; fire has breached the eaves. Ashfang’s voice warms a fraction. “Clumsy, but that’s evidence. If they ask why their roofs cost more, show them this.” His tail curls around the words, almost protectively. He utters a sharp phrase—a tongue suited for contracts rather than curses. In the square, rain suddenly redoubles, dousing the smallest fires. He is not sated, but he pauses to read what you wrote.

6 / 7

I ask him to say it aloud so the hall hears, then ask what becomes of a warden who burns his own district.

Ashfang snorts, uncertain if the stone or the supplicant is the less dignified witness. At length, he intones the oath in a guttural, echoing tongue, every syllable settling into the ruined timbers. Rain patters, flames sputter. Confined, but not entirely quelled. He hesitates at your question, the tip of his tail twitching. “A warden who burns his own district is stripped of every badge, every plaque—stripped of their title, their story, and their place at any fire. Even a dragon remembers that.” A grudging nod: the rules are older than either of you.

7 / 7

I set the spoon against his claw as the badge, and address him by his new title for the first time.

He lowers his claw, all fatigue forgotten for the instant the spoon touches scale. You do not blink or bow as you address him—Warden—before the empty hall. The title lands like a chain; the oath and its penalty are written in the stones and spoken in the rafters. Ashfang gives a long, measured breath. Between his claws he cradles the spoon, acknowledging the post, the rule, and what it now forbids. Outside, rain beats out the last embers. Ashfang does not look at the village again. “Until I resign,” he says. And for tonight, the roofs hold.

THE COUNCIL

“Well, then we're over-staffed. The council gave me the fire portfolio for another—fifty-four minutes.”

Epic.

76/100

The Badge, the Oath and the Exhausted Dragon

Juno Pell never once pleads or flatters: she invents a new job, names its ritual, offers a badge (the spoon), inscribes and extracts public terms, and binds Ashfang to the post. The spoon is essential: as the badge, it is offered and accepted in a classic office-changing ritual, and used to inscribe and seal the agreement. The solution is original, airtight and matches genre, and the closing move completes the plan—a win both sound and funny.

“Juno Pell, who convinced a dragon to take a job and a spoon, became locally notorious for the most bureaucratic act of heroism that Strell ever stamped.”

HOW IT SCORED

EPIC76/100

Audacity32/45
Wit5/10
Logic18/20
Object Use13/15
Payoff8/10
VictoryMYTHIC NEEDS 85

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